October 2020 – September heart-to-hearts

the moon on his window pane won't let him sleep she says she wonders how he can be a writer considering he rarely sees her perspective their debates are never ending cuz he gets carried away like children do she says he has a good heart though an innocent one like a child's and she believes she can read him like a book he's not deep like writers are supposed to be even he wonders how he can be a writer how his mind sometimes leaps across boundaries and his thoughts begin to fly how sometimes two unrelated thoughts combine an idea a spark but he just doesn't know why maybe because he's not so goodheartedly dense maybe because his heart is broken in pieces shameful secrets regrets empty grey and maybe just maybe only writing keeps the spark alive But he guesses he just doesn't know

The trouble with a perfectionist:
he thinks about starting his work
All day and night 
he thinks about his work
He writes a first draft
then second then third
then first again.
And later
he's never satisfied with his works.
He thinks there are always better words 
and sentences just around the corner.

All day and night he plans out the details
The trouble with a perfectionist 
he needs every word right
every answer correct
every line straight
he wants to catch
every mistake.

I am crazy about those 
bits of poems in 
highway graffitis
I like their primitive style 
and lack of a proper meter
it adds to their memorability.

I think it hurts you 
when you spend too much time thinking
I think you being too afraid to be called a fool 
is stopping you from starting.

That's the trouble with perfectionists
They think about their work
Instead of getting up and just doing it.

Here I’m also sharing a quote which I wrote 3 years ago, it probably is the first quote I ever wrote and I don’t even know if it holds true or not.

I have procrastinated my studies a lot, I used to postpone my work till the end of semester and study very hard the night before exam. The result was average marks and I used to fool myself by thinking that if I could score average just by starting my studies a week before finals then that means I could probably ace them if I started studying, say, a month before instead of a week, but I never did that though, I got by just fine with average. In my mind I was a perfectionist and not procrastinator, mind you, so what if I could just prepare 50 – 60 perc of my syllabus, the part that I did prepare was Fully Prepared, I didn’t leave out anything and IF I had just a Little more time I’d have prepared the whole syllabus, just like that. That’s how I fooled myself.

Now I know my mistakes, I’ve fooled myself so many times by neglecting the same mistakes that it’s ridiculous, really. I like the thrill of deadlines, like it and hate it at the same time, the pressure helps me keep my mind focused on the task at hand. SO now I create deadlines for myself, I paste them on the walls of my room and although in the starting it was tough to fool myself into studying for a change, it has become easier over the months and I think it’ll get even more easy as I continue doing it.

If you enjoyed the post don’t forget to like, comment and follow!