Hello fellow bloggers and readers, September Heart-to-hearts just crossed 400 followers! I am so glad that I didn’t stop blogging. I was going to, you know and I almost did around ‘September’ last year, yeah I know, the irony of it!
I had special plans for that month poetry–related but when it finally came and I realized I was turning 21 and I pictured myself graduating from my college in a few months, with no job in hand and my preparation for GATE exam (Graduate Aptitude Test of Engineering) was also getting nowhere, I got depressed. I began to question my life choices and thought why do I even bother with poetry, it’s not like I am getting any rich by writing?
The exam is on the 14th of Feb. I have just over a month to revise and prepare the little stuff that I know. I am not going to ace the exam this time, that’s something I do know for sure. I also don’t want to compromise on the job/Masters University like I did with my college. So that leaves me with the final option of taking the year off for study and give my exam in 2022.
Sometimes I feel torn, it’s not that I don’t like my studies, I haven’t flunked in any of the subjects, professors like me and all but I fear something I dunno, it’s a weird feeling. I’ll plan out my days till the exam , starting from tomorrow. 6 hours of planned study would be sufficient–seeing, right now I only study 2-4 hours, I know that 6 hours will be good.
I am NOT going to stop writing nor I am going to stop playing my guitar or do my morning runs. Those are the things that make me happy. I’d have to stop reading novels and watching TV though. I can do that.
This rambling post was a part self help note to myself, I guess. I’ve never taken a year off and staying at home another year after 2020, is gonna take a toll on me, I just know that.
In the end, I’d like to thank you all for always being there for me even when I was not there for you. I’ve made great friends in this community. Friends that inspire me, friends that make me laugh, friends that help me see things in new light, I am grateful to this community. Lots of love and take care.