Depression

is a black anvil
tied with a chain
around my waist.

It’s heavy,
keeping me from moving,
slowing me down
for I have to drag it around.

It has been a while
since I’ve felt worthwhile
all I feel is lost
and all I see is others winning.

Alone in a room
with lights out
door closed
I lie in the bed.

I dream of drowning
in the sea at night
with no Moon.
So lonely, deep and dark.

Thoughts of ending everything
torment my desolate mind.
Black clouds suffocate
my exhausted soul.

But there’s comfort
In drowning
In dying
In wanting the darkness
To last forever.

© M. Jay Dixit, September heart-to-hearts, 2021 All Rights Reserved

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~Jay